Have you ever seen a small child at a birthday party get freaked out by the clown? The kid cries and their parents laugh and laugh and laugh. Fear of clowns is a real thing, of course, and small children are understandably mistrusting of a big guy with a weird looking face and boisterous, exaggerated movements.
Instead, it’s “Wrinkles,” a clown in Naples, Florida who has embraced the creepy.
Desperate parents in Naples, Fla., have a new weapon in their arsenal for reining in misbehaving kids.
His name is “Wrinkles,” and he’s a creepy-looking clown who has been spotted at gatherings, in public and outside people’s homes for the past few years, according to the Palm Beach Post.
Wrinkles’s real face remains hidden beneath a distinctive mask with large black eye holes and receding white hair. He favors a polka dot onesie with black rubber gloves and he’s rarely seen without a bundle of colorful balloons in one hand. A slight paunch gives him the unnerving appearance of a menacing, man-size baby who lurks in sewers and children’s closets.
For a few hundred bucks cash, he told The Washington Post, he’ll make an appearance at your party or gathering, prank your friend or even scare your misbehaving kid straight, as he was recently hired to do by one mother looking for a way to reform her trouble-making 12-year-old.
“He was scared of clowns and I showed up across the street from him at the bus stop and he just started crying in front of his friends and ran home,” Wrinkles told The Post, somewhat remorsefully, in his heavy New England accent. “His mother called back a few days later and said ‘Thank you!’ Now when he acts bad, she just has to ask him: ‘Do you want Wrinkles to come back?’ ”
Yep. That probably would have worked on us.
About the only thing creepier than this clown — and we’re not particularly creeped out by most clowns — would be some spider-clown hybrid. If such a thing starts to exist, however, that’s a sign of the apocalypse and it’s time to stock up on canned goods and ammo…and maybe every season of 24, because why not?
Of course, someone looking like Wrinkles is creepy enough. He looks like a serial killer after all.